Whew, what a journey! This journey all began on April 7, 2020. As I sat on my couch in my loft watching Lifetime, a thought came into my mind. The thought was that I needed to write and tell my story. Write? Who me? Why at age 50 did I feel led to write and tell my story? I wasn’t quite sure, but wanted to be obedient even if it was uncomfortable and scary; scary like a big Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake that is found in the state of Georgia where I currently live.
You see, I am an educator by nature; that is my calling. I have always wanted to be a teacher since the age of six when I saw my momma at work in Gary, Indiana teaching her second grade class. Well, that dream came true. I had the opportunity to attend an HBCU, Tuskegee University located in Tuskegee, Alabama. There I majored in Education and even pursued and obtained my Master’s degree in Special Education at the University of Minnesota. My dream came true and I have been teaching for almost 30 years now. I currently teach first grade in Atlanta Public Schools and love it! I can’t see myself doing anything else. I am very comfortable teaching children. I thought that teaching would be the only thing that I would do for the rest of my life, like my mother. I was wrong.
This sudden shift in my life from comfort to discomfort, from familiar to unfamiliar and confidence to fear, has me feeling some kind of way. At times, I feel…scared, nervous, incompetent, and uncomfortable. This discomfort reminds me of going to a department store and trying on a new pair of red heels that are a half size too small. And getting them anyway. Walking in the heels was painful, uncomfortable, and hurt my feet. I wear a size 5, but they didn’t have the shoe in that size, so I got the 4 ½; now that’s some discomfort!
With writing, I don’t know where to start or what to do. I am out of my element and into new territory. You see, I can teach with my eyes closed. I can write engaging lesson plans and deliver a lesson in any subject area with a degree of ease. Not, with writing. With writing, I find myself struggling to put the right words on the paper, getting stuck with what subject to write about, and even having trouble with using correct grammar. By the way, I just signed up for a grammar workshop refresher and found out how to check my grammar using Grammarly.
Even though writing is uncomfortable (like those pair of size4 ½ red heels that I purchased) for me at this time, I am going to stick with it. I know that it is a process and that I need to take baby steps; like a baby having to learn how to crawl before he or she walks. That means that I need to keep on moving forward. It will get easier for me, the more that I do it. I should persevere and not give up. I should have courage, knowing that I really don’t know what I can do, until I try. I am learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. As a result of this, I am growing and developing into who God has called and purposed me to be. Today, I am taking the limits off of God, breaking through the wall of fear, and doing something new in 2020. I’m stepping into new territory in this season of growth!
Are you living in comfort? Are you ready to embrace a new territory? Trust Him in the process. Do not be afraid. He is with you!