by a Christ-follower from GA.
My spiritual journey began right after I completed my Bachelor’s degree, married, and birthed my first blessing from God. Three years later God blessed our family with another birth. I was extremely thankful for my family.
During the first eight years of of my marriage my husband was a loving husband and father. He spent quality time with all of us, went to church with us, and even attended bible study regularly. Shortly after the 8 years, my husband’s desire for alcohol took precedence over family time. He became an alcoholic and verbally abusive to me.
His terrible addiction greatly affected my children and I. I would often take our children from our home to my sister’s house so none of us would have to hear his profanity toward me, (although his negative words were spoken to me, our children were saddened too because they saw me crying). Many times they went to school without their homework because I took out time to pray with them to calm their fears. I let them know that they were loved by God and I shared with them that their dad had a problem and needed help.
I left my husband for weeks at various times, but I would always return home because I so deeply wanted our family to be whole. I prayed continuously, wrote in binders all the time sharing with God how I felt about putting my babies through so much anguish. I reminded God about what His Word said, that He would never leave or forsake us, that He would keep us in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee. I thanked Him for helping me to be a better mom and remove my children from this crisis. I felt that I wasn’t a great mom because I didn’t divorce him. I daily cried out to God for peace, direction and help. I even saw a therapist over a period of time.
I went to church with my children every Sunday, read the Bible with my children and kept working and taking my babies to school, involved them in fun activities and pressed on with God’s love and help. God constantly supplied our needs and truly, truly gave us His peace that surpasses all understanding. In spite of all the pain, thanks be to Our Faithful Father God my children developed a relationship with Him, succeeded academically and are thriving in their careers.
Even after our children moved out on their own, I remained in our home with their father. He continued his addiction, moved into a separate bedroom, and we were more like siblings than husband and wife. I constantly reminded God of His Word and what he stated about divorce. I asked God if my husband was an assignment or mission He had for me to assist Him in my husband’s salvation. God reminded me of 1st Corinthians 7:13-And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. (NKJV)
I desired to please God more than myself so I stayed with my husband a few more years. However, after those years of us growing further and further apart, I finally divorced him and I asked God for forgiveness. Through that lengthy journey of pain, I’ve learned without a doubt that Almighty God is all that His Word says He is. For my children and I are living testimonies that when you cast all your cares on Him, He does care for you. For only our Creator God, Mighty God, Jehovah Jireh, Everlasting Father, Psalm 91 God, kept us from having a mental breakdown. We are eternally grateful.