I will always remember the date, December 17, 1976. This is the date that my father, Abe Brown passed away. It was a cold, dark night. He was driving home, lost control of the car, and crashed into a light pole on I-94 in Chicago, Illinois. I was only six years old and my little brother was just four. We had just lost our daddy at such a young age, so close to Christmas, and in such a terrible way. My mom tells me that our Christmas presents were in the trunk of my daddy’s car; a yellow Cadillac with white leather seats.
I remember my momma waking us up in the middle of the night and sitting us on the gold carpet stairs. We were dressed in our blue and white pajamas. I remember being so sleepy and wondering why she had woken us up. As we sat on the stairs, she began to hold our hands and tell us that our daddy would not be coming home anymore; that he had died in a car accident. Tears streamed down our faces as we tried to comprehend what our mother had just told us. Daddy was gone forever, just like that. We would not hear his voice anymore. We wouldn’t be able to play airplane with him anymore. My brother wouldn’t be able to wash the car with him on the weekends. And we wouldn’t get to run and hide behind the green recliner when we heard the garage door go up. My brother and I would like to hide from our father and have him find us when he came home from work. I can hear his deep voice saying, “Where are my kids?” We would jump out from behind the chair and run into his arms.
As the years went by, I tried to deal and cope with the loss of my father the best way that I could. I remember at one point in high school, being angry with God for taking my father away from me. I questioned His love for me. How could a loving God take my father away from me? Why did he have to leave the earth so soon? What did I do to deserve this? It just wasn’t fair.
Time went on and I was getting older and becoming a young adult. Doing life without a father was challenging. I looked to men for validation, safety, protection, and security. As a grown woman, I started to have trust and abandonment issues. I protected myself. I was not vulnerable in relationships or friendships. I never wanted to get close to anyone for fear of losing them.
It wasn’t until I accepted Jesus as my LORD and personal Savior, that I began to heal. I did not have my father for a long time on this earth, but now, I had my Heavenly Father. I knew that He would never leave me and that He loves me unconditionally. His love for me is vast. I found my safety and security in Him, my Heavenly Father. I am safe knowing that I am going to be alright no matter what. I am secure knowing that I can fall apart and He will be right there to put me back together. And while I miss and will always love Abe Brown, I am grateful for the loving relationship that I have with God, the Father. He will never leave me nor forsake me and the same goes for you. He loves us!
Join me in celebrating our Daddy’s love. I call Him Abba Father because we have an intimate, loving, and personal relationship. Here are some scriptures that speak to our Daddy’s love…
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
I John 4:16
God is love.
But God demonstrates His own love for us in this; while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever.
But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.