The Single Perspective
Single Thoughts for the Single Community
By Kanefus R. Walker
Singleness: Are You Called or Choosing?
Have you ever wondered what your God-given purpose might be? Has it ever crossed your mind that your status as a single person may be a calling? Do you view singleness as a calling?
Have you been in a relationship that appeared to be leading down a serious road and you opted out to remain single? If so, what made you choose the single life? Do you view singleness as a choice?
For years I saw myself, as many others do, having the societal life of a career, home, spouse and children. Maybe not necessarily in that order, but to have all of that, especially by the time I was 50-years-old. Yet, with each passing year, my yearning for some of those began to diminish in many ways. Sure, the little girl in me wanted my daddy to walk me down the aisle and give me away to the man of my dreams. Yes, the young woman in me wanted to experience childbirth and motherhood and all of the great and not-so-good things that come with that role.
My reality is, I am single at 50-years-old without the career, the home, the spouse or the children. Guess what? That is truly okay. And I had to get to the point of it being okay because it wasn’t always. I have learned to appreciate this state and wake up each day attempting to make it better than the day before. No every day is not roses and champagne but it is not doom and gloom either. Do with it what you like. Whatever is going to make where you are, where you need to be.
It is a calling or choice? For me, I honestly haven’t found that out. One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is Philippians 4:11 which states Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. We only get this one life so it is meant to be enjoyed. So, as I go through the next leg of this journey as a solo act, maybe singleness as a calling or choice will be revealed. Either way my goal is to be happy and that is definitely a choice.