“Saturday’s Story for His Glory!”Guest Post
By a Christ Follower from Harvey, IL.
my hometown 🙂
The move of God is something I have been wanting to experience for a long time. You see I would always hear other people talk about what God had done, said, shown, etc. Yet, I would always wonder why I wasn’t hearing, seeing, feeling something too. I was waiting for some grandiose gesture that would make me know that God did that. Now to be truly transparent, I had heard the small audible voice before, giving me direction that I didn’t heed and from that point on I felt like God had become silent toward me. After that, the yearning to hear from Him again has always been great, but like the human being that I am, I continue to come short of His glory in so many ways. I didn’t notice, in that God moved.
I, like many others, have had my share of challenges throughout life; heartbreak, loss, disappointment, obstacles, insecurities, self-esteem issues, you name it and it has happened. I have cried out to God to help me, to get me through and I still felt like nothing happened. But today, when I look back on it, I began to understand that I had overcome each of those situations and came out unscarred. The Bible states in Ecclesiastes 3:1 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” Not realizing at the time, those were just seasons in my life that I had to go through until I get to the next season. Why? Because God moved.
My life is in no way where I feel like it should be at this time. Yet again, I find myself with an ache in my soul because I feel like God is still silent toward me. There are so many things I need clarity on, so many things I want to do, so many things I want to have, the list goes on and on. I had to reconcile within myself that I have lived my life in the shadows of others, trying to walk in someone else’s shoes thinking that what they had or did was what I needed or wanted. I had to become honest with myself and realize that I had lost who I really am along the way. I was so used to trying to be the version of me that I thought others wanted. The money lost on trying things that didn’t work out, passed-over opportunities or taking jobs and doing things that I didn’t want to do but didn’t know how to say no (I still struggle with no even at 51). Seeing myself through the lens of someone else’s glasses. Asking myself why am I in this space? Despite the difficulties, God moved.
I had a pivotal moment of clarity recently and in that moment some things began to unravel as to what my next life steps are. The reality is I have to get quiet so I can hear God speak. The reality is I have to not be afraid to say no for my own well-being. The reality is I have to find my voice that has been lost inside trying to be someone other than myself. I have to learn that what I do, where I am and most importantly, who I am matters…to me and to God. The things I want, desire or even deserve are not on my timetable, but God’s and I have to let Him do His good work. One of my favorite passages of Scripture is found in Philippians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Contentment has begun to find its rightful place in all aspects of my life and now I recognize that no matter what happened in my life, good, challenging or indifferent, God moved.